Mother of Seigaku

oishisyuichirou @ 2005-11-28T21:11:00

2005-11-29T02:14:18Z

Happy Birthday, Eiji!

oishisyuichirou @ 2005-10-12T16:55:00

2005-10-12T20:56:54Z

~~... But I've never even had sex before!~~

oishisyuichirou @ 2005-09-25T23:58:00

2005-09-26T03:58:01Z

Well, the itching, irritation, and allergies have stopped! Actually, they stopped a while ago, so luckily I was able to make it to my National match against Rikkai Dai's Niou and Yagyuu!

I remember playing them in what seems like ages ago. It was a really good game, though we lost it.

I'm happy to say that we beat them this time! I think that shows a lot about how much the Golden Pair has grown this year. Of course, with Eiji by my side, how couldn't we win?

( I was able to fulfill my promises. )

oishisyuichirou @ 2005-09-17T14:15:00

2005-09-17T18:17:04Z

Ayako really needs to stop trying to be subtle and just tell me when there's a problem I can fix.

I don't think I've ever been sent home from school before -- I'm not even sick! What if I miss a really important assignment at school?! It's not even that I'm contagious! It's just... I'm allegric to something that I don't know. I don't want to fall behind in school just because of that though!

My parents decided that it would be a good idea for me to stay home too, since it seems that my allergies are really bad. Whatever they are. So I've been here for a few days.

The good thing, at least, is that my skin does seem to be clearing up. Uncle Akitaka came over and gave me some ointment to help the irritation and itchiness.

Tezuka, you will tell me if I've missed something important, won't you?

oishisyuichirou @ 2005-08-07T23:26:00

2005-08-08T03:26:32Z

... Another party?

(Well, at least I'm not in charge of this one this time.)

I'm not sure if... I'm going to go. Cowboys?

oishisyuichirou @ 2005-07-29T20:40:00

2005-07-30T00:40:59Z

I think I fell asleep at the computer about a week ago. And somehow posted... something odd. I'm sorry for anyone I may have startled! I suppose I was just really tired that day. I'm sort of wondering how my face was able to press that many keys and then click on the submit button all while I was asleep. That sort of thing doesn't usually happen to people, does it?

Jumping to another topic, graduation... Graduation was a while ago, actually. There was a lot of people there, beautiful speeches were made, and I can't help but think of what I'm leaving behind. My last year was really something. A lot of things happened, there was good mixed in with the bad, but I think I've grown during those periods

I think, Seigaku's tennis team especially grew. We've had a lot of members join this year, and we're the closest to winning the Nationals than we were years ago. We have an amazing team and incredible members. Sometimes it feels like we could take on pro tennis players one on one. Isn't that strange?

I'll miss being around the lowerclassmen, and I know I'll miss seeing Momo and Kaidou around (I'll miss seeing them bicker too, though I don't really like admitting it) and of course, Echizen, our star regular. I'll miss being able to lead a team with Tezuka towards a goal like the Nationals. But I suppose it's ok, we'll see each other again in a few years time. And then we'll be together again. (Well, unless one of us decides to move or go to another school, I guess.)

(I feel that we were really like a family for the last three years.

I remember when I first spotted Tezuka in the tennis club, we were so small then, and how I was angry at him for not fighting back - but then I knew that I wouldn't have done anything to stop it either. And I remember trying to talk to him, and how reserved he seemed to be, but he was the only one I really knew at the tennis club then, so we somehow became friends. We used to go to each other's houses and we had these plans that... that seem to be taking fruit this year. It's like a dream come true. Is that sappy of me to say?

I never imagined that I would love another sport as much as I love bowling, but it seems I do. I was never really that great at tennis either; Tezuka was the one who helped train me, and that's how I was able to become a regular in the first place, those few years ago.

And then I met Eiji, and well, he was a stubborn one. Always full of energy and trying to make me laugh and relax... And then I wondered if we could be doubles partners. We really screwed up the first few times. The mistakes we made... Tezuka would hit me if I ever told him. But it was worth it, because look at where we are now.

But. Where are we now? I don't... think we ever planned on love. Never planned on falling in love, never planned to hurt each other. But at least we seem to be on good terms again.

When I talked to Tezuka and Eiji, it was.. awkward. Awkward, and then I guess we remembered. You know, all those times we had in the past. And then it was ok. They said it was ok, I think it's ok. We're going to be ok. It was just a bit of a phase we were caught up in. Now we're gonna try to start anew.

It's a bit like the old times, when we were carefree and innocent, except there's this shadow now. Though I don't want more. Not now. It would be too soon. What we have now, I'm happy with it. Extremely. I wouldn't give our friendship up for the world.

I remember the first time I met Inui and Taka-san too. Taka-san was really nice, he was a bit like me when he started coming to play tennis. Unless, of course, you give him a racquet. He's really strong, a powerful player, and I'll miss seeing him at the tennis practices in the future. I wish him the best of luck with his restaurant though! I bet when we're all adults, we'll come back to Seigaku one day, and we'll see Taka-san open up his restaurant and he'll still have the best sushi that we've ever eaten - maybe he'll even have a chain of restaurants. But that's just wishful thinking.

Inui scared me a little when I met him. I think it had something to do with his height, he was always the tallest. And I can't say his juices didn't scare me either. (There was a time when they used to be sweet, you know? Then all those healthy vegetables got dumped into it... Which is good, I guess. But taste shouldn't be overlooked... Then again, we did just use them for punishments. I think Inui preferred it that way.) Maybe one day Inui will start up a juice product or something. I wonder if anything geninuely likes his juice? Besides Fuji?

Fuji was the last one to join us in our third year circle. The boy who always smiled and almost suffered the same fate as Tezuka did. There are a lot of things that I don't understand about him, and yet a lot that I can grasp at least a little bit. He was very hard to read, ridiciously smart, always cheerful, and just that much more mischievious. Obviously he and Eiji became best friends right away.

I wonder if we'll be treated the way we were back in first year when we go to high school? I hope not. But at least we're ready this time.

... Though, I'm not sure if I still want to play tennis anymore. If I still have time. I'd like to continue.)

A lot of the team was composed of third years; I wonder what will happen to the team next year?

(When Momo and Kaidou showed up to Seigaku a year later, they were already fighting! Not much has changed, has it? But I think, despite all that, they really are good friends underneath. Maybe they'll play doubles together next year? I think it would be an interesting combination, and they played really well in the Rikkai Dai matches together. Maybe I'll tell Tezuka and he can tell them. Though they're also really strong singles players on their own. Momo's really strong and can hold his own on the court really well. Kaidou can too, and it's great that they're able to also play doubles when the time calls for it. I think they'll do a fine job of leading Seigaku next year.

Echizen, of course, will be a brilliant player. Especially in the singles department (it's pretty weak in the doubles department, not that that's a bad thing). He came to Japan as someone no one had heard about, but he rose so far so fast. I wonder if Tezuka will make him captain? I suppose I should talk to him about that sometime soon before the Nationals are done and over with, and we'll have to start our new lives in high school.)

It makes me a bit sad, thinking back, but I suppose the thought of looking forward always helped people. Though more than the future, I should focus on the now. The Nationals is coming up in a few days (!!). I really hope Seigaku will win!

(I phoned Tezuka recently, but he wasn't at home - he was probably out practicing as always. I left him a message that told him to meet me at Seigaku's courts whenever he was free. I'm going to give up the captaincy and let him take it back.)

I got a job again, helping out at the hospital at Seigaku University with my uncle. I just started it a little while ago. I figured I needed to find a way to earn money for myself, and saving up for university early never hurt anyone. I do a lot of odd and end jobs; taking things to this floor or this room for people, talking to some of the patients, teaching some of the elderly how to use the computer (though I'm not that great at it myself, but I know the basic works), and sometimes helping out at the gift shop. It's a nice, easy job, usually. So far nothing hectic has happened while I've worked there.

Yesterday, the high school that I'm going to phoned me and I had to sort out a misunderstanding about my future school schedule. I wonder how school'll change from what it is now? But it's still Seigaku, so I wonder if there'll be any changes at all.

Rereading this post, it is entirely too long, but I guess that's what happens when you don't post for a while, huh? I guess I'll stop it here then, I don't have much else to say.

I'm going to go try and convince Tezuka to go outside with me to a public place (he said something about shopping to me). Hopefully to some place that isn't a sports store. Wish me luck!

oishisyuichirou @ 2005-07-17T22:10:00

2005-07-18T02:10:29Z

asssafkdjfofffffffffreew-gjagggfgngj45y7kl;tfthgjhhhhhbjvvgvjjjdfsdgahhhjhkhjk.////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

oishisyuichirou @ 2005-05-11T19:58:00

2005-05-11T23:58:32Z

Happy Birthday, Kaidou!

oishisyuichirou @ 2005-05-08T22:29:00

2005-05-09T04:30:25Z

... He's talking to me again.

I... ano...

oishisyuichirou @ 2005-04-24T23:59:00

2005-04-25T05:03:13Z

My parents were wondering if I had wanted to throw a party in about a weeks' time. I told them thank you, but it was alright and I really was too old to have a party nowadays. Ayako said I was 'no fun.'

Mmmm... I haven't even noticed the time of year, really. I feel a little stupid forgetting. Guess that usually happens when you have other things on your mind?

There's this odd sense of deja vu in the air.

oishisyuichirou @ 2005-04-17T18:48:00

2005-04-17T22:54:33Z

It's not like I ever... thought I completely understood him. But.

But.

That... he... The new information I have now changes things. A lot. If it means what I think it means...

Maybe it was a bad idea to read his journal.

On the bright side, at least Tezuka's not mad at me, then. Maybe...

oishisyuichirou @ 2005-04-07T15:10:00

2005-04-07T20:44:27Z

Someone made me a bento this week. I, ah... I didn't find it until today. There was this foul sort of rotting smell coming from under my spare t-shirt in my locker, and I lifted the shirt up and I found this bento that someone made me just sitting there. I feel really really bad about it, because someone made me food to eat, and I couldn't even eat it since... well, it's kind of rotting away, so I had to toss it in the garbage... They didn't even leave their name though, so I don't even know who it was who made it, so I can't say sorry or anything.

Uhm...

oishisyuichirou @ 2005-03-16T23:43:00

2005-03-17T04:43:10Z

Fascinating.

... Uhm. I never really liked shrimp much though.

White Day went well! I... think. Yeah. It went well.

(... I think he looked my way. For the first time in a long time.

I wonder what he writes in his journal... I mean, he looks at mine, doesn't he? Maybe I should...

... I wonder if he's reading it even now? Probably not. It's not something he would do...)

I also found a pack of ChocoQ chocolates in the pile in the corner (which is quite small now, thankfully). I forgot these existed. I wonder who sent them? I hope I get the seashell. That was one of the ones I never got when I was still collecting those toy figures.

(OOC Note: ChocoQ.)

oishisyuichirou @ 2005-03-13T22:31:00

2005-03-14T03:31:08Z

... I'm still short a few White Day presents. Uhm, uhm -- It's too late to buy anything now, and my artistic skills aren't... that great... I don't want to make any more chocolates either, since I've used up a lot of ingredients already. (I'm not sure why Ayako had to steal some. It's not like we ran out of chocolates from Valentines' Day. We still have quite a lot...)

Maybe I'll be able to get something tomorrow before the day ends. Or I could tell them and give them something belated, or do a favour for them. Though it wouldn't seem fair for those four girls to have something -- special? -- like that.

... Would girls get mad over this sort of thing? I just don't want my, you know... f -- fan. Club. Thing. To come after me. They're really scary when they're angry... Not that they're bad! Not that I think they're bad! I'm sure they're very nice people. They're just... scary sometimes. (... I still don't understand why I have a fanclub. It's not like I did anything extraordinary to earn one... Did I?)

...

I'm not good with girls...

(... Should I, maybe, you know, give Eiji and Tezuka something? For an apology... It's not much, but, well. Maybe they would understand? I never meant to mess up anything between any of us...

I...

No.

At least, not in person. Maybe I'll just leave something small in their locker. They don't have to know...)

oishisyuichirou @ 2005-03-01T21:01:00

2005-03-02T02:01:47Z

Happy Birthday, Fuji! Or, well, not-birthday...

... That's kind of confusing...

Does that happen every year 'til leap year?

oishisyuichirou @ 2005-02-15T20:11:00

2005-02-16T05:11:26Z

... Um.

(I think... people are a bit confused...

I left Eiji most of the chocolates that were for 'us' though, since he has such a big family and like sweets more than I do. I hope I didn't leave so much that he wasn't able to bring it all home...

Even then, there was still a big pile left just for me...)

Ano, it's really really embarrassing! I... didn't know that... fanclub was still around. How come I never hear about them until days like this? Ayako seems to be happy with the chocolates though. I don't know how I'm going to finish it all... And I feel really bad since I don't remember everyone who gave me something, or what they look like, or their names! I thanked everyone though, which is one positive thing! Ah, I think. I'm really really sorry to those I didn't thank!

They're all lovely chocolates, really. ... And I guess I was never planning on using that corner of my room for anything anyways. (I think the pile is going to fall again.)

I am truly grateful for everything though, so really, I hope the best for everyone who gave me something! I was really touched, and... wow. I think I got a lot more than I did last year. I don't know... Well, wow. It's an honour!

( Though some people said really... explicit things. (I threw most of those sorts of gifts away... Not that I'm not happy they gave me something! Just... Uhm. I'd get into a lot of trouble. A lot of trouble. And... Just -- Well, I don't really want them...)

... I wonder if it was the same for Eiji?

I really need to talk to him soon.)

Happy Belated Valentine's Day, everyone!

(... I also think I got myself into something I didn't think I would get so far into.

Osakada-san is a nice man and I'm sure Tomoka is equally a very nice girl but I really don't think I... wanttomarryher. Oranyone. Notatthisage!

I don't even really know her!

... Maybe I should stop being so, polite, or something. (But... that's mean!))

oishisyuichirou @ 2005-02-06T23:02:00

2005-02-07T04:04:46Z

He's avoiding me.

Or the world in general.

Probably... both.

... I'm worried.

oishisyuichirou @ 2005-01-28T21:23:00

2005-01-30T02:23:34Z

I should learn to let go.

This isn't helping anyone. It's tearing us apart. At least - it's tearing me apart.

I knew that I'd have to try and move on when I decided that we had to break away.

It's about time I actually tried. And moved on. He has.

It doesn't mean we can't be friends.

Golden Pair forever. It was a promise.

oishisyuichirou @ 2005-01-21T01:50:00

2005-01-21T06:57:07Z

I had forgotten I had this, Oishi.

oishisyuichirou @ 2005-01-08T20:32:00

2005-01-09T01:31:55Z

I'm...

I'm going to ~~screw up royally~~ ~~be ok~~ ~~stop being nervous~~ ~~stop avoiding them both~~ ~~just stop~~...

I'm going to tell him everything.

It was just a kiss - I'm sure... I'm sure this has happened to someone else all the time. It's not that big a deal... right?

My heart's pounding and I still don't know what to say.

oishisyuichirou @ 2005-01-02T16:11:00

2005-01-02T21:11:25Z

Why did I say yes?

oishisyuichirou @ 2004-12-30T17:53:00

2004-12-30T22:53:47Z

(I...

I don't think that I'm...

I mean, I guess I could be...

But. But.

I shouldn't be.

I can't. But I could.

And to make it worse, I don't think I want to forget.

I'm not... sure.)

I've been off spending Christmas with family, since we won't be able to see them come New Years, so I've been either out celebrating or staying at home a lot lately. I don't think I've ever spent so much time at home or away from my friends and team mates before. Guess it's like a bit of a break, though I'd like to see everyone again. I never knew there were so many things to do to keep a house orderly. Maa, I respect Kaasan a lot more for her work! Gigi's ~~(...)~~ also surprisingly good company.

Belated Happy Birthday to Echizen! And Merry Christmas too!! Early New Years as well if I happen not to be here on the date of the new year.

(Unattainable.)

oishisyuichirou @ 2004-12-21T16:30:00

2004-12-21T21:30:34Z

Kaasan was cleaning my costume from the Winter Ball yesterday. She told me that she found a piece of mistletoe in one of the pockets and asked me why I would be carrying something like that around. (I think she thinks that - uhm - that I met with Eiji at the ball and...)

She was going to throw it away, but I stopped her and said I wanted to keep it.

... I don't know why I did that.

oishisyuichirou @ 2004-12-20T14:48:00

2004-12-20T19:53:37Z

...

whatwereyouthinkingsyuichirou

ican'tbelieveiactuallydidthat and ohgodhemusthatemesomuchnow

nevermindthefactthatiactuallygotdrunksoicouldn't - butishouldn'thaveanditneverwassupposed to happen

But... he felt warm and it was nice.

So why does it feel so wrong?

Why do I still feel like I'm obliged to Eiji? ... I'm single now, aren't I?

But it was Tezuka, and I...

I can't... I can't seem to forget. Anything.

I can't face... either of them. Not now.

What do I do?

oishisyuichirou @ 2004-12-13T21:41:00

2004-12-14T03:19:31Z

I think Tezuka suspects... something. Maybe. I don't know. I suppose I wouldn't put it past him though. After all, he's... well, him. Someone whom I've known for so long. I don't think he knows exactly what's wrong with me yet though. Well, not what's wrong with me, just what's upsetting me.

I don't want to tell him, or worry him. He has other things to worry about. Other than me being stupid.

I am being stupid.

This shouldn't be affecting me this much.

I'm not sure... if I made what we had better, or worse. Because at least we were talking with each other before. And now it's just a distraction that's edging at the back of my mind. Always, did I do the right thing? But he won't be abused now, right? I did this for us, right? And instead, I should be worrying about training, the team, the Nationals, the Winter Ball coming up, homework, my studies... This should actually let me focus more on things that are important, and give me more time to do said things, but it isn't.

I never thought someone would affect me like this so much. Then again, I never thought I would love so soon. Not until Eiji walked into my life.

... I'm being stupid again.

What I need to do, is wake up. Until Tezuka comes back officially, I am still Seigaku's captain. A captain does not show this kind of weakness to his teammates. It's a wonder that everyone hasn't lost faith in me yet. So it's my duty to do something before they do lose faith.

Class representative, Winter Committee member, future doctor... All the things I want and should be working at accomplishing. But all I'm doing is lagging behind. I need to catch up again. I need to focus. I lived before, where I would laugh everyday and nothing really upset me to this extent. I lived without Eiji before.

I can't now, and I know that. I know that I probably will never get over Eiji - your first love, does anyone ever truly get over that? - and I know that this will stick to me forever, know that no matter what happens, I still wish we could be together, but I have to accept that and move on. Life was kind enough to let me meet Eiji, but it can't be kind all the time.

I'm going to stop moping around and being so depressed. I'm going to live, because that's what a living being does, and do what I can to be my best and give my all.

I'm going to be a good teammate, and a leader until Tezuka comes back.

I'm going to be determined, more daring and confident.

I'm going to... I'm going to talk to Eiji when I'm ready. Try to mend what's between us so that we can be friends again. I still want to be his friend, and I still want to hang out with him, and laugh and play and do all the things we used to. ~~Even though I want more than just friendship, like what we had before our... break up. Even though I still love him, but if this is all I can get, then I'll be ok with this.~~

I'm going to ~~try to~~ be strong.